Anxiety, Excitement, and Adoration

"Any international move goes together with higher levels of anxiety"
~ Anonymous

As most of my experiences thus far in Uganda have been associated with some level of anxiety so have my reasons for writing. There have been numerous reasons for why I have not written in some time, which I will explain, but the top being anxiety. In fact emotions of anxiety, nervousness, and insecurity have entirely overwhelmed me. It was not until recently, very recently, merely 24 hours where I have started to feel myself again, confident, and secure about my knowledge, abilities, and crazy, life-altering decision to live in Uganda for two years.

After counting 46 mosquito bites, a quick scare with malaria, and an ultimate discovery that I had contracted salmonella, I finally feel "normal" again, as normal as an expatriate can feel in the middle of sub-Saharan Africa. Really though, the salmonella drama was quite traumatic. I woke up one morning with a quick sprint to the toilet; translation: "the runs". It proceeded to be a sprint to the toilets nearly every 4.5 minutes with intermittent vomiting, sweating, chills, and some tears. In other words, I felt like I was dying. But I was determined to power through and dragged myself to the "Welcome BBQ" for all new staff. As I sat at the table covered in white linen amongst the beautiful gardens of the country club staring at my delicious food incapable of even tasting it, all I could dream of was being in the comfort of my family in California. I had not been that sick in a very, very long time. I think since I had mono in Spain where I balled to my mother at three in the morning about my discomfort. I did not want to be the complaining new teacher so I kept my cool. But fortunately a fellow colleague noticed my state and insisted I go to the hospital. I put up a slight resistance due to my ego but then agreed to go. It didn't take much convincing. The school bus promptly, well Africa's version of prompt, nearly two hours later, "rushed" me to the hospital where I was poked, pushed, pulled, and tested for EVERYTHING. I really had no clue what was going on but was given 12 tablets of medicine and received confirmation that I did NOT have malaria. However, by this time my fever had skyrocketed and I was shaking uncontrollably. The doctor refused to let me go home and insisted that I stay the night in the hospital with an IV for hydration. I couldn't imagine anything more horrible so I locked myself in the toilets using all my mental power to stop the shaking and convince the doc that I was stable. An hour later she let me loose with oral rehydration salts and antibiotics. The next day I woke up feeling the same and almost immediately received a call from the hospital with the news of my salmonella diagnosis. Fortunately, I already had the antibiotics and was reassured that after 24 hours of the meds I would feel great. Sure enough, 24 hours came, and well, I felt great. It's been almost 48 hours now and I feel really, really great.

With that said, I can now aim my full attention at work and forming social relationships with fellow colleagues. I have to admit since my arrival I have had moments of questioning my decision, predominantly due to uncertainty. But since we have started our week of induction at the school not only am I entirely confident in my decision but I am extremely excited about the reality of it all. I have come to realize some important elements, especially after reading cover to cover my "Essential Guide for Teachers in International Schools" and having conversations with numerous staff members. The most important being that I have not just committed myself to teaching for two years in Uganda; but, I have committed myself to a career of lifelong learning. Being in a new country I am vulnerable to relearning simple and basic life skills, as my students are learning in my classroom. We have a common union as co-learners and it is truly a beautiful thing, a creation of unity that couldn't possibly exist teaching in my home country. You cannot imagine how fortunate I feel for being given this experience. It represents everything I believe about teaching: celebrating diversity, coexistence and a community of learners--all essential components to a productive educational environment.

OK, enough of the education talk. One more component about life in Uganda and I will leave it at that. Of course, every need feels like desperation when you are living in a country of inconvenience. Thus explaining my desperation for water at ten o'clock at night. I mean I can't drink tap water and I have been dehydrated from salmonella. Yes, I qualify that as desperation. I trek to the shop to find it's closed, then am directed in nearly every direction where I am continuously denied bottled water, well not just bottled water, but service because all the shops are closed. Eventually I find myself at the main road pleading with the security guard of a major supermarket to let me enter as the shopkeeper is fastening the locks on the front door. Denied, Denied, Denied! I move onto the shopkeeper and guess what: DENIED. I don't give up and eventually am let in and able to purchase my much needed water and am surprisingly served with exceptional service. This is why I praise Uganda. Yes, at times Africa offers the worst service but when it matters, hence discovering salmonella in less than 24 hours and the water, it offers the best service and always in those times of need. My love-hate relationship with Uganda is slowly shifting to pure adoration.